How to Handle Criticism

How to Handle Criticism
A man's capacity to climb the ladder of success is directly
proportional to his ability to handle criticism. The higher the post,
the more the person occupying it will be subjected to personal
attacks, verbal abuses and disrespectful comments. It goes with the
territory.
That is not to say that people are fundamentally negative. Far from
it, most people are kind and respectful however, these gentle souls
are not the ones who make the most noise and whose action stands
out at the end of the day. The ones that will stand out when all is
said and done will be the negative few. At least, this will be the
case for the unprepared or ill equipped mind.
Scientific experiences have shown that it takes a minimum
seventeen positive experiences to erase the sting of a single
negative incident. And that is a very conservative view. In some
cases a negative experience will leave and indelible scar that will
withstand the test of time.
Dale Carnegie relates the incident where, due to youth and
inexperience, he wrote a letter to a famous author where he ended
the message with the notation, (DBNR) which stands for, "Dictated
but not read." A custom that was used by prominent people at the
time. The author returned the letter with the notation, "Your bad
manners are only exceeded by your bad manners." Carnegie said
that, to his shame, the only thing that he could remember about that
author, when he died twenty-five years later, was the hurt that the
man had caused him.
Rebukes, criticisms and faintly disguised insults hurt and they can
hurt for a lifetime unless a man has develop the wherewithal
necessary to handle those negative inputs. It is entirely possible to
become impermeable to most negative personal attacks. I say
"most" attacks because there will always be people who are very
close to us who may retain the ability to push our buttons and
manipulate us but those are a small minority.
There is not hundreds of way that we can galvanize ourselves
against personal attacks. There is only one. At one time, a solemn
decision has to be taken to change the way that we perceive
ourselves. From that point on, we will see ourselves as being
strong enough to stay above the fray and strong enough to no
longer let criticisms and insults affect us. That is something that
any mature person can do.
A mature person will understand that words by themselves carry
no inherent meaning. As an example, would anyone be hurt if a
three years old child said that you were a fool. Of course not. You
would be above that. So, if it can be done with a child, why could
it not be done with an adult?
Words have no meaning except the meaning that we give them and
no one can insult you unless you are willing to accept whatever
was said as an insult. We have the final say on how we will accept
any opinion or statement. Anyone can have an opinion but we
certainly don't have to share it.
Handling criticism comes down to self-perception and selfperception
can be changed. Most of the time it's a matter or
growing up. It is deciding that we are now mature enough and
strong enough not to let other's opinion affect and influence us.
That change in self-perception is a stage in self-growth that every
leader and every successful person had to go through at one point
in their life. It could be that today is the day that you decide to take
the step.
Dr. Raymond Comeau aka Shamou is the Author of ShamouBlog
and Owner Administrator of Personal Development for Personal
Success Forums. A free discussion vBulletin powered board.

INSPIRATION

"Anything in life worth having is worth working for." - Andrew Carnegie
1/2
"Success often comes to those who dare to act. It seldom goes to the timid who
are ever afraid of the consequences." - Jawaharlal Nehru
1/3
"Success is never ending, failure is never final." - Dr. Robert Schuller
1/4
"I just love when people say I can’t do something because all my life people said
I wasn’t going to make it." - Ted Turner
1/5
"Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful mind, but great actions speak to all
mankind." - Emily P. Bissell
1/6
"Obstacles are those frightful things you can see when you take your eyes off
your goal." - Henry Ford
1/7
"It takes a strong fish to swim against the current. Even a dead one can float with
it." - John Crowe
1/8
"You will never find time for anything. You must make it." - Charles Buxton
1/9
"Remove failure as an option." - Joan Lunden
1/10
"There is no one giant step that does it. It's a lot of little steps." - Peter A. Cohen
1/11
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among the stars." - Les
Brown
1/12
"Some of us have great runways already built for us. If you have one, take off.
But if you don't have one, realize it is your responsibility to grab a shovel and
build one for yourself and for those who will follow after you." - Amelia Earhart
1/13
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance
like nobody is watching." - Mark Twain
1/14
"What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve." - Napoleon Hill
1/15
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and
learning from failure." - Colin Powell
1/16
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
1/17
"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." - Samuel
Johnson
1/18
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will." - Vince Lombardi
1/19
"The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The
man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been." -
Alan Ashley-Pitt
1/20
"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think
about that, you'll do things differently." - Warren Buffett
1/21
"Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they
have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision." - Muhammad Ali
1/22
"Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing
really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment
onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and
understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every
thought and deed." - Eileen Caddy
1/23
"The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple
as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something
about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur
is a doer." - Nolan Bushnell
1/24
"Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and
enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass!" - Paul J. Meyer
1/25
"Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people
always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become
great." - Mark Twain
1/26
"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work,
patience, love, self-sacrifice. No paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold
of real service." - John Burroughs
1/27
"To be successful, you must decide exactly what you want to accomplish, then
resolve to pay the price to get it." - Bunker Hunt
1/28
"You just can't beat the person who never gives up." - Babe Ruth
1/29
"When you get right down to the root of the meaning of the word 'succeed', you
find it simply means to follow through." - F.W. Nichol
1/30
"Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others.
Unsuccessful people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?'" - Brian Tracy
1/31
"If you don't set goals, you can't regret not reaching them." - Yogi Berra

When there is a fight, at least two parties are involved. So there can be no fight with you if you refuse to participate

You've to be ready to lose, only then you'll learn to possess"