How to Handle Criticism

How to Handle Criticism
A man's capacity to climb the ladder of success is directly
proportional to his ability to handle criticism. The higher the post,
the more the person occupying it will be subjected to personal
attacks, verbal abuses and disrespectful comments. It goes with the
territory.
That is not to say that people are fundamentally negative. Far from
it, most people are kind and respectful however, these gentle souls
are not the ones who make the most noise and whose action stands
out at the end of the day. The ones that will stand out when all is
said and done will be the negative few. At least, this will be the
case for the unprepared or ill equipped mind.
Scientific experiences have shown that it takes a minimum
seventeen positive experiences to erase the sting of a single
negative incident. And that is a very conservative view. In some
cases a negative experience will leave and indelible scar that will
withstand the test of time.
Dale Carnegie relates the incident where, due to youth and
inexperience, he wrote a letter to a famous author where he ended
the message with the notation, (DBNR) which stands for, "Dictated
but not read." A custom that was used by prominent people at the
time. The author returned the letter with the notation, "Your bad
manners are only exceeded by your bad manners." Carnegie said
that, to his shame, the only thing that he could remember about that
author, when he died twenty-five years later, was the hurt that the
man had caused him.
Rebukes, criticisms and faintly disguised insults hurt and they can
hurt for a lifetime unless a man has develop the wherewithal
necessary to handle those negative inputs. It is entirely possible to
become impermeable to most negative personal attacks. I say
"most" attacks because there will always be people who are very
close to us who may retain the ability to push our buttons and
manipulate us but those are a small minority.
There is not hundreds of way that we can galvanize ourselves
against personal attacks. There is only one. At one time, a solemn
decision has to be taken to change the way that we perceive
ourselves. From that point on, we will see ourselves as being
strong enough to stay above the fray and strong enough to no
longer let criticisms and insults affect us. That is something that
any mature person can do.
A mature person will understand that words by themselves carry
no inherent meaning. As an example, would anyone be hurt if a
three years old child said that you were a fool. Of course not. You
would be above that. So, if it can be done with a child, why could
it not be done with an adult?
Words have no meaning except the meaning that we give them and
no one can insult you unless you are willing to accept whatever
was said as an insult. We have the final say on how we will accept
any opinion or statement. Anyone can have an opinion but we
certainly don't have to share it.
Handling criticism comes down to self-perception and selfperception
can be changed. Most of the time it's a matter or
growing up. It is deciding that we are now mature enough and
strong enough not to let other's opinion affect and influence us.
That change in self-perception is a stage in self-growth that every
leader and every successful person had to go through at one point
in their life. It could be that today is the day that you decide to take
the step.
Dr. Raymond Comeau aka Shamou is the Author of ShamouBlog
and Owner Administrator of Personal Development for Personal
Success Forums. A free discussion vBulletin powered board.